Does anyone manage to get through their lives without experiencing the sadness of losing someone they love? Loving and caring for people leads to great pain and sorrow when they leave. Without love there would be no sorrow, no loss, no hole in your life, no tears to cry but isn’t it worth it? The precious time you spend with that person be that 88 or 23 years, 2 weeks or even a matter of minutes, far outweighs the grief and the hurt you feel at their loss. There is comfort in remembering a snatched bag of chips, your first dance together and even the times you disagreed; the love in their eyes as they look at you and the warmth of their hugs and kisses.
Time almost stops when a loved one departs. It’s almost impossible to grasp that you have seen them for the last time when their home still smells of them, their slippers are at the side of their bed, their reading glasses still rest on the football programmes they were reading the day before..
The world is a constant loop of retelling, reliving, remembering they’ve gone. Kind words from friends and family, meeting people who knew them but not you, spending long periods of time talking to priests and funeral directors…
Platitudes to ease your pain, eyes avoiding having to express their feelings. Maybe a hug is all that’s needed. Maybe he did ‘have a good life’ he probably has ‘ gone to a better place’ and yes 88 years is a ‘good innings’ but still he is no longer here. The sadness at his loss is not eased. The sorrow at the gap he leaves remains.
“After you’d gone
I saved your favourite cushion
Setting it gently to one side,
and full of care
so as not to lose the shape of you
Your lasting impressions
as it were…”
Tony Walsh ‘Hollow’
from the book ‘Sex & Love & Rock & Roll’
Available to purchase from ‘Longfella’ himself just £10.00
Thank you for all your kind words, love and support.
Life and other